Help for the Satirically Illiterate

Does anyone know what satire is, or have has everyone forgotten. Merriam Webster defines Satire as trenchant wit, irony, or sarcasm used to expose and discredit vice or folly. You know, showing people how absurd their actions or statements are by being equally absurd in my response or statement. I know it’s difficult to do in less than 140 characters in a text, but I enjoy employing this tool. The problem is people don’t get it. I thought it was me for awhile, but having had this conversation with a good friend, I realize it’s not all me, and I like that. He helped me realize that it may be me, but more than likely it’s people who take themselves, their opinions, and their pontifications on those opinions way, way, way, way, way, way, way to seriously.

So I say to you all, stop reading the worst possible tones into every written communication on the Internet, and lighten up. YOU DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS.

We can end Satire Illiteracy in our lifetimes, one overly intense Internet discussion at a time.

Man that felt good, tim

Will the Real Fundamentalist Please Stand Up?

I just took a “quiz” on facebook called "Which Past Preacher are You Most Like," and the whole thing kinda bugged me. Once you went to the quiz, it said, "Which of these fundamentalist preachers are you most like?" I mean I’m not angry about it, just a little irritated like when a gnat keeps buzzing around your nose or ear. It seems like the older I get the more things like this get under my skin even though they’re just for fun. But I digress. . .

First, I love Spurgeon, I mean I am a huge fan of his, but When, Where, Why, and How did the great C. H. Spurgeon become a fundamentalist. Spurgeon wouldn’t be allowed to speak at Fundy churches or colleges in our time. Places like Pensacola Christian, Hyles Anderson, and Crown would find any number of reasons to keep Spurgeon far, far away from their campuses. He didn’t have the right “Standards, or convictions.” I would bet that students in those schools aren’t even allowed to read Spurgeon at will. I hate to be the one to break it to my Fundy friends, but the governor was a Filthy Calvinist. I’m in the club so I can use the F. C. slur. Oh yeah, Let me make this one clear for all my independent fundamental Baptist brothers, and sisters. A deep concern for the lost doesn’t automatically make someone a fundamentalist.

Second, what’s wrong with Christians? Why would any human being want to be a “preacher” like Jack Hyles. Yeah, I admit he could pack them into the building, but has anyone ever listened to any of those horrendous maniacal rants he called sermons? The man was certifiable, and that’s being kind. I asked on facebook why no one but my 15 year old brother had the stones to stand up to that jerk, but I forgot that one of my former pastors had the moxie to call Jack Hyles out on the silliness he called pastoring . Dr. Bruce Foster called Hyles out in the Sword of the Lord newspaper. He took some heat from Hyles sycophants, but kudos to Dr. Foster for being one of the few fundamentalist leaders that I know of that had integrity enough to point out that Hyles claims didn’t add up.

Wow, I feel so much better.